Lots going on lately. Makes me happy. Got a dinner tomorrow night with a new guy. My parents are going to be in this weekend so I'll probably hang out with them. The pagan group at the new church I started going to is having a potluck, as well as a ritual, for the spring solstice Saturday afternoon. I was going to do a little something for Ostara tonight, but I think I'll just wait until Saturday instead. Next week I've got hockey, and then birthday celebrations for some friends.

I'm starting to work on my summer vacation now too. At some point in June I'm going to try to put together 5 days or so to go to Florida and get a room on the beach. Probably in St. Petersburg beach or soemthing. And I'm just going to lay on the beach, drink frozen alcoholic beverages, eat some good grouper, hang out with friends, and just relax and enjoy myself. I think maybe the end of June might work best. Gives me more time to get myself more "beach ready".

For the past couple weeks as things have gotten busier and the move has gotten closer, I've been more and more questioning if my decision is the right one. So when I start questioning, I start weighing pros and cons of staying or going. And then I end up even more confused.

For one thing, as much as they can annoy me sometimes, I have a couple really good friends here. They are the kind of friends that like to hang out and do things with me. The kind that I can on a Saturday afternoon, randomly suggest driving to Orlando instead of Tampa to go to a different mall, and they'll say yes. The kind that when I need a friend to go to the movie with, they are right there with me. Basically the kind of friend that doesn't have to schedule me into their lives. I am scared that I won't find that again when I leave.

Another is my job, or rather dissatisfaction with it. Building consumer level websites is a huge pain in the ass. Especially as a contractor. Because I can't tell the client, no don't do that the site will look like ass. And I can't tell the client that I don't give a fuck what the sales person told them, I have a project plan I agreed to and they'll have to pay extra for extra stuff. (sorry to rant). I've started working as the web person for this travel show, and it could possibly turn into a full time thing eventually. Which would rock. I'll already be traveling a lot hopefully to film the episodes. But I'm concerned that if I move then it will make it harder for me to assume that full time position. But that's something I'll need to take up with the producers. Though if that doesn't pan out, Chicago would be a much better place to be at when looking for a regular web job or even looking to move into film/tv production.

And the other thing is just the type of place I want to live in. Recently I've been considering that when I move to the Chicagoland area, I'd locate myself in the northwest suberbs to be near the work place. But I already know that I wouldn't be happy there. For years now I've wanted to live in an urban city area. The kind that doesn't exist anywhere in Tampa, and certainly not in Lithia. Moving to the northwest suburbs or even Schaumberg would be the equivalent of moving to the same place I am right now. And I'm miserable out here. The ideal place for me would be in the city within walking or biking distance to the lake. Lakeview, Uptown, Lincoln Park, Wrigglyview, one of those areas. But on the flip side of that, it means an hour+ drive to get to the offices. Or I could take the train and have someone pick me up on the days I work in the office. I work using my laptop on the train anyways. And that would mean placing myself an hour from the three people I know in the area as well. Which as history has demonstrated, I would only see them at work or for special events.

This is why I hate big decisions. Especially when then encompass so many smaller decisions. Well I mean the big decision has already been made. I am going to move to Chicago, that's not really even a question anymore. Where I live and how I'll run my life when I get there is a different story. Goddess I'm so fucking emo sometimes.

I've been by myself all weekend so I've done a lot of movie watching including on dvd, tv, and in the theater. So here's my wrap up.

Friday Night

The Last Kiss (DVD) - I'm a big fan of Zach Braff's work. That's pretty much the reason I picked this DVD up knowing nothing about it. Saturday after I watched it I found out it was an American remake of an Italian film. It was a tough watch. Not because it was a bad film, but because it was so sad, depressing, and emotionally raw. This is not a movie to watch with someone whom you are having a rocky relationship with.

Anchor Man (DVD) - I needed this bit of comic relief after the first movie I watched. I think it was about the fourth time I've seen it. It's a hillarious classic and one of Will Ferrell's best.

Saturday

Legion of the Dead (TV:SciFi) - Super campy resurrected evil Egyptian witch in souther California with flesh eating zombies and a sappy love story between two college students. This is one of those great movies that doesn't really fit into any category. It wasn't scary or dramatic. And it wasn't particularly funny. It was just simple entertainment for people who like campy zombie mummy movies.

Freddy vs. Jason (TV:SciFi) - Freddy has been forgotten by the town, so he gets Jason to come back and scare people so they will remember him. There's a bit of jealousy over who gets to kill who, so they have a big showdown which neither of them actually win. Kind of pales to the other Freddy and Jason movies.

Hot Fuzz (Theater) - Two words... Fucking Hilarious. British humor at it's finest. It was absurd, ridiculous, and very very silly. Lots of great lines, funny moments, and a plot that will make you groan in pure entertainment. Go see it, thank me later.

Sunday

In the Land of Women (Theater) - Caught the matinée on this one today. (Yay for $4 movies, and then spending $8 at the concessions). Overall a decent flick, though the plot felt a bit shallow. And aside from Adam Brody's, the characters were underdeveloped. I did wind up crying at a couple spots in the film. Seeing Meg Ryans character deal with breast cancer sort of triggered some of the same emotions I felt when my mom was fighting the disease. And I had a connection with Adam Brody's character when he had this realization: "I'm realizing I don't have it all together. I look around and see my friends getting married and having kids. And I'm nowhere close." (Paraphrased because I can't remember the exact words). I enjoyed the film, but if you have to choose between the two, go see Hot Fuzz instead.

I’m participating this year in the Chicago 3-Day breast cancer walk for the cure. For those who don’t know, my Mom is a survivor. I wanted to do something like this a couple years ago, but was unable to. This year I want to participate in walk, and I need your help. My goal is to meet the required $2,200 and far exceed that. Please make any donation you can via my donation page: http://www.the3day.org/chicago07/torikirk. Every little bit helps. Thank you!